God's Gift

You may have noticed that most of my posts, insightful as they are, are fundamentally diatribes inspired by my own personal qualms. However, one particular topic has angered so many women that I have actually been asked to broadcast the injustice of it to the world.

It’s 11.30pm. You’re in a bar, enjoying good company, good cocktails and minding your own business, when a man approaches you. He’s a good-looking guy (and quite clearly knows it) but for various reasons you thank him and politely decline his advances. Feeling nicely flattered but sure you’ve done the right thing, you turn back to join the conversation when you hear the retreating male mutter “bitch”.

Will someone please explain to me why rejecting a man’s (usually incredibly arrogant) advances makes us bitches, sluts or - my personal favourite – lesbians? Is it possible that there are men out there who believe themselves to be so wholly irresistible that any woman not throwing themselves at his feet in the style of a Lynx-ad must be into women?

I think the most illogical insult of them all is the ‘slut’ slur. Let’s take a look at the possible outcomes of this situation: we politely reject their offer of a face-sucking and are consequently labelled a slut; we ignore them completely and again, are deemed a slut. But if we decide to let them get on with it just so they’ll leave us the hell alone (the only option which actually lends evidence towards our ‘slut’ title) then they are completely satisfied.

I know these archetypes are not renowned for their intellect, but surely they can appreciate the irrationality of this. So here’s a quick thought for all of you supercilious men out there (if indeed you have a moment in between fake-tanning and blowing kisses to yourselves in the mirror) – next time you find your affections declined, you could think about taking the high road. Or alternatively, spend a few moments contemplating the phrase “it’s not me, it’s you”.